1. |
Brooklyn
02:36
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I'm biting my nails,
But trying to quit.
I've bowed to the habit,
But I must admit
That my hell is getting better
The more that I commit
I pray that the coffee
might keep me awake
Not feed the delusions,
but keep them at bay.
If it takes another summer
I just might not be the same.
No emotion
No feeling
No attraction
No appealing
Briefly sequacious as a soul on the mend but don't get it twisted I was never your friend
Im wide awake in brooklyn
No devotion
No believing
Only chaos
Only grieving
Much like a nightmare
I could not comprehend
I felt my passion as it came to an end.
I'm wide awake in brooklyn
Ive been keeping my ear to the ground
Cant you stop me from sleeping around?
Like decay to a maggot
Seems kicking a habit
Is much more complex than just
burying a hatchet
Holy ghost at the foot of the bed
I was too fucked up to hear what you said
It all got too verbose
Then i started to dose
What's new?
Im comotose when it matters the most
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2. |
Shoot Up
02:25
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You've got a
History of addiction
A history of getting blood on your hands
A history of infliction
We couldn't ask for a better man
She says
I'm losing track of the week days
Gimme a second I should check my phone
We'll have to wait till you get paid
But I've got a friend that's selling methadone
Are we sleeping tonight,
Or sleeping together?
We were fair weather friends
Yeah, but we found something better.
I'm a freak in the sheets
As I vomit in the street
I'm hoping we could shoot up together
They got you on prostitution,
You were let out early due to circumstance
Now you work for commission
How's that for a happenstance?
I wish my boyfriend would leave me
You're the only one that seems to understand
Did you even just hear me?
You only say I love you when there's contraband
Are we sleeping tonight,
Or sleeping together?
We were fair weather friends
Yeah, but we found something better.
I'm a freak in the sheets
As I vomit in the street
I'm hoping we could shoot up together
Wherever
Whenever
Forever
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3. |
Girlfriend
03:39
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You left the television running in the kitchen
I was cleaning out garbage, stacking dishes in a pleasing position
I can't remember the night before
What makes you think that I'd remember your birthday?
Girlfriend, girlfriend
You didn't have to mean a thing
You didn't have to be my
Usually I'm in control,
But tonight's a different story
Hopelessly semantic
Hung up on allegory
I know that it's a challenge when I don't do my part
But it's hard to be your lover, when I don't have the heart
Your mom was a doctor
Your dad was a nurse
Your family was rich
But you thinks that's a curse
You had everything
You ever wanted handed to you
My cat has fleas
And I can't afford the treatment
So I tell him I'll do what I can
As soon as I am good for it
He's fine
He's a cat
He's naturally content
But I don't think you could stand it
If you felt a single itch.
I still think about
The first wall I couldn't climb
It was Sixth grade, gym class
With Courage I couldn't find
I felt helpless, and handicapped
It damaged more than pride
It was the first time I fantasized suicide.
It wasn't the last time I fantasized suicide.
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4. |
Good Day, Bad Me
02:37
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Do you remember when you found me dozing
Choking down the pills had set a somber tone
I remember how you looked so stunning
Smashing 911 into your camera phone
It's been a good day,
Bad me.
A Long night;
a rough week.
I found a good place
in a bad streak
A smirk on my face
and a tongue in my cheek
Do you remember when you found me frozen
Refusing to admit I ever fell for you
A minute later I was in the bedroom
Sobbing in your arms like I was split in two
You've been looking for blood in all the wrong places, all the wrong faces
I thought about the gun loaded safe inside the drawer
The most remarkable thing was that you walked in through the door
She said it was okay to miss me but my hands are getting sore
I said everyone's a victim when their love becomes a chore
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5. |
Hospice
03:59
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I'm not sleeping
Hardly eating
Each breath is taunting me
Caroline, I know you well
although I'm hardly worth the hospice,
And I know this bed ain't cheap,
home is a mighty fine
Place to be
The chemo bears no service
When you want to die
But you look so beautiful,
Caroline.
Wake up do it all again
Is this going out swingin?
I guess I'll wait around
And sweat it out
My last 4 months
Of breaking down
I have never felt so missed
Your preacher arranged to meet me
To discuss divinity
"we wouldn't want a good man
To burn in hell."
I always get so nervous
When this gets pushed on me
But I will try my hardest to calmly speak
If it started with a great foundation
Why would it matter if I changed my point my view?
Everybody wants salvation
To have their cake and get to eat it to
But I've never been a God fearing christian
Hell, I've never been to church
Does that make me such a God damn monster?
Does that justify this curse?
Does that make my matters worse?
And suddenly, he's all out of words
Wake up do it all again
Is this going out swingin?
I guess I'll wait around
And sweat it out
My last 2 months
Of breaking down
I have never felt so blessed
We can't afford the bills
And I just ran out of pills
Caroline, Caroline
Caroline this isn't right
Caroline, caroline
Caroline, you have to let me die
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6. |
Great Lake
04:03
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I was sober for him
I was sober you
I had hope for the future
I had hope for us too
Now we're wearing these black clothes
I'm still denying the truth
I couldn't iron the wrinkles
I barely got on these shoes
I don't want to lose myself again
I was still on the highway
When she gave me the noose
An hour out from the airport
I started thinking about booze
I wouldn't want to be buried
She told me that I should choose
We could purchase casket
Or let the lake be his view
I don't want to lose myself again
They sent a bill for the service
We took my car to the lake
You didn't speak for the whole drive
I didn't know what to say
We got a room on the third floor,
I felt like making mistakes
I called your mom, as the room spun
And I started slurring your name
I think I finally lost myself again
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7. |
Heaven's Gate
03:35
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We spent our summers skipping seashells
And brushing sand off of our feet
I drank enough to numb my brain cells
Just not enough to get to sleep
She said to call her when I'm sober
But I plan to die before I wake
Lay on my back so when I get sick
I'll find my way to heavens gate
The hardest year,
I've been beat and battered
Watch the waves, as the ashes scatter
Sobriety on a silver platter
I had an out and I chose the ladder
I'd spend a fortune on your smile,
Just to see that goofy grin again.
I gave up drinking for your future,
But there's no future
And I'm two bottles in.
If the devils into details
Then where does that leave god?
We've been memorizing scriptures,
While he's been studying abroad.
She pores them fast, I barely inhale
Where the fuck is god?!
I'm suffocating in the fixture
Stayed up all night,
Let my walls burn.
Living in spite
Of what I yearn.
The hardest year,
I've been beat and battered
Watch the waves, as the ashes scatter
Sobriety on a silver platter
I had an out, but what does it matter?
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8. |
Four Christmases
02:18
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In the next few weeks
I'll probably lose my mind
In the midst of all the liquor, beer,
And wine
It's a nativity scene
Of mediocrity
I'm caught up in the loss of my own son
Caroline,
Your mom keeps writing letters
But I'm too ashamed to tell her
I'm not getting any better
Caroline, could you tell her?
Please Caroline, would you tell her?
I'm sorry for the way I left the house
This time of year I'm hard to be around
I try to forget we have a gun
I'm still my mother's only son
But keeping the noose around my neck has left me bitter.
The decorations
Flicker and erode
The drugs will take me later
Down the road
My bones will collapse at your front door
Am I still the coward you abhor?
I knocked for an hour straight
Locked in the freezing cold
It was empty
It was empty
And I'm empty
I'm empty
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Small Words Indianapolis, Indiana
Alternative Pop-Rock out of Indianapolis, IN
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